by Craig Colby
Every Saturday morning when I was a child, my brothers and I watched a cartoon skunk try to rape a cat. In fairness, he thought the cat was a skunk, because somehow, she always got a big white stripe on her back, so the skunk thought he could have sex with her just because he wanted to. That was the message. The joke was that the skunk didn’t know that he stunk.
It took people a long time to figure out how odious this character was. Pepe Le Pew is finally being pulled off the air. Unfortunately, the response I’m seeing all over my Facebook feed is this: why is Pepe suddenly so bad but everyone is okay with Cardi B?
In case you missed it, Cardi B performed her hit song WAP at the Grammy’s with Megan Thee Stallion. WAP refers to aroused female genitalia. As Grammy host Trevor Noah said, “think of a cat having a bath.” Both the song and its Grammy performance lack subtlety. This is apparently where many in my feed take exception. Why is Cardi B okay and Pepe Le Pew terrible they ask? It’s a one-word answer.
Consent.
A Clear Yes
Yes, Pepe is a cartoon and Cardi B is crude. That actually makes it worse for Pepe. The cartoon skunk persevered while a bulge-eyed cat pushed him away and ran like hell the first chance she got. Pepe always responded with a sly look at the audience, primarily children, and assured them that he won’t stop until he gets what he wants. What kind of message do kids take from that? For boys, it’s “don’t take no for an answer”. For girls, it’s “they’re coming for you.” 1 in 4 North American women will be sexually assaulted. It’s a shocking number, but should it be? Male entitlement was so ingrained in society, it was taught in a cartoon on Saturday morning. Think that’s an overstatement? Guess how many instructional conversations or school videos I was given about consent when I was young? If you guessed a number bigger than zero, you’re wrong.
Now consider Cardi B’s song. What’s more consensual than a Wet Ass Pussy and its owner telling you how much she wants you to enjoy its benefits? Tell me again what’s really offensive here. As for how graphic WAP is, consider this. How many of the people in my feed do you think have complained to me at any point in our lives about Robert Plant singing about squeezing his lemon until the juice runs down his leg, or orgasming during one of his songs? If you guessed a number bigger than zero, you’re wrong.
So, is a skunk aimed at children that normalizes rape culture worse than a song aimed at adults that celebrates a woman’s right to control her sexuality? Yes! Clearly. So why are people having such a tough time handling this?
A Rose By Any Other Name
The Bachelor faced a similar problem. The program made a big deal about featuring the first Black Bachelor this season. By the way, the big deal should be that it didn’t happen until season 25. There are a lot of explanations for why it took so long and none of them are good. Because race was such a part of this season’s premise, no one should be surprised that race was the turning point in the season’s conclusion. Matt James, the bachelor, found out between the second last episode and the finale, that his chosen one, Rachel Kirkconnell, had attended an Antebellum party in 2018. Basically, she dressed as a slave owner, because she and her friends thought that would be fun.
Not only did the problems this created evade her, but they also missed the show’s host, Chris Harrison. He stepped down for the finale after supporting Kirkconnell.
In the final episode, James revealed that, despite their professed love for each other in the previous episode, he had broken up with Kirkconnell. James praised her for now being willing to do the work it takes to understand what it’s like being black in America. From what I saw of her during the show, I have little doubt that the consequences of dressing like a slave owner never occurred to her until she saw the effect it had on James and their relationship.
I Would Not Could Not
That is the real problem. There are far too few conversations about race. There are even fewer about how centuries of white supremacy have affected people of colour. When the conversations are started, a lot of white people push back with indignation. White people lost it when Dr. Suess’s heirs decided a few of his lesser-known books, which contained racial stereotypes, shouldn’t be published anymore. Indignant, and incorrect, memes talking about cancelling the Cat in the Hat were shared on white people’s feeds.
How can we move forward when putting away problematic parts of the past is protested? We can’t sacrifice books we’ve never read for someone else’s wellbeing? What the hell is wrong with us?
None Are So Blind
It took losing a potential husband for Rachel Kirkonnell to realize the consequences of her actions. Thar’s why the Bachelor finale may be the most important show of the year. A whole lot of people who hadn’t given a thought to the fallout of their entitlement may finally realize why they, like Kirkconnell, should start putting in the work. It’s not always easy to realize the environment that produced you also created problems for other people.
White privilege and male sexual entitlement are like the vapor cloud that followed Pepe Le Pew as he bounced through life, carefree and oblivious to the damage he caused. It’s hard to stop the toxic actions that hurt other people when you’re not even of aware of your own stink.
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Craig Colby is a television executive producer, producer, director, writer and story editor. He runs a storytelling consulting and production service for businesses.